july 2024

quit smoking 


time for people present in the moment attention - love 


sex intimacy boyfriend 


better job money


..


i dont o u 

own you 

i miss the warm air 


the quality of our breathing 


i miss the warm air 


remembering instant tears 


instant gratification 


life with love 


..


you have to enjoy the beauty of pain 


that is life 


whole, holy


..


like you never experienced it because you kept wanting to leave 

self exile so i do not have to confront myself with people and places a cold floor and your not coming home just yet i have to swallow my tears i have lost my voice and remember this dull panic inside my heart


..


you don’t always have to feel the same 

above in awareness 

to be the best better person there ever is”

every single loop hole of shame and love 

you walk out of the shower

lay on a bed in your towel wrapped around your body like a child 


my earliest memory is fried


the day goes on sling shot 

a bird 

killing 

CBK


the day is new 

a fresh slate of concrete stuck to a seagulls leg

a new day 

noose is safety 

fire burns 

so cold 

your love 

their love 

flames of words 

throwing away

trembling 

cross eyed 

the tickling pressure to love remember each mountain is easy in the unforgettable moment of love

and i go home 

and i shit 

and i sleep


“no progress without suffering’ darren


..


memory of the bird


..


scenes in movie connect 


eg 


dog in one scene next scene people are talking about a dog


same thing happening in all scenes 

eg 

man fighting 

next scene is man fighting in different location different person 

connected things happening all over the world 

the same universal connection all happening at once 


..


and who is to blame

when the neglecting father 

to a 4 year old 

sweet child of grace 

i hold grace 

for you only 

king ship 

of childhood soldiers 

to love and beyond 

electric guitar by green pencil 


..


holding on to what exactly 



candlelight 


a child noticing everything and smiles for what is familiar


learning guitar 


the sacred shell 


the sacred pebbles


the sacred stones 


collected in a silk pouch 


you would leave a note from a fairy that says you can talk to me whenever you want 

write it down here and i will help you (margot)


i know its hard for you right now but don’t worry 


..



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